I'm also 28. however recently i’ve randomly been having very strong desire to have a baby. I wanted to share some positives and negative’s. If you’re single, stop ruminating about it or talking about it with Ask a pregnant woman (who had a non-traumatic delivery) a year after labor how badly it hurt, and they don't remember the inscrutable pain! scumbag brain deletes the really painful bits so we will have another baby, because a couple of years later you think, hmm yeah wasn't bad at all, I think I'll do that again. I’ve been wanting a baby for a while now but it’s not really in the cards for me. People who really want a baby/parenthood. I 100% wanted a boy. Fun to be around. If you’re worried about baby sleeping in the car seat in the stroller and that’s why you need a bassinet, I wouldn’t be too worried about that in particular. Anyway, I wish you well, and I'm sure you'll make an amazing dad when the time comes :) 3. She's financially stable, owns her own place, etc. Maybe the numbers aren’t that dramatic, but it is still an increased risk. It’s just what I want for myself. I have a good job and can handle a baby myself but I can’t afford ivf and adoption won’t kill this urge. I'll say, there's no perfect time to have a baby, but it's really helpful to know what boxes you want to have checked off before going for it. I deeply regret having a baby…. I’m in my 30s. 71 votes, 21 comments. [deleted] • 4 yr. 23 weeks here- I wanted a girl, found out it’s a boy. You might be thinking: “Well, geez, Depsycho, of COURSE, that’s what people who want kids hope to do!” and, you know, in a perfect world, you would be right. You want a Northern, ideally. I wanted my third to be a girl as well. They are mamas boys through and through. Prioritize you and your family over them and their families, as you have a child on the way and that matters 10x more than conditional love and support. We first got together when we were both 16 and about 4 months after we got together I got pregnant, not really the best news to get when you're 16 but we were happy. My husband (29) and I (25) have been married for a few months. You’re not a horrible person. Physically, pregnancy was way easier at 20 for me personally. I’ve looked into it. The ONLY time to have a child is if the news of a pregnancy is a welcome one - or at least, a tolerable surprise. (I do want to add that with our first, after sleep studies, we did find out their tonsils and adenoids we're blocking 90% and 70% of their airway when laying down. We talked about it and we both decided that we should keep the baby, after about a week of knowing that we should keep the baby my boyfriend I didn’t have a shower and still got a ton of things off my registry - so much that I kept adding more to the registry after baby was born and I realized I needed more things. We have been trying for a baby for almost a year now and so far have been unsuccessful. I don’t want one. amandasfire911. The issue is that I don't know where to find anyone. Men of reddit: How badly do you want a baby? I'm gay, so all my straight male friends don't understand why I would want a baby or children at all. My sister (30 single with no kids) shamed me (shes not in my life anymore except christmas day so she doesn't matter) saying that all of the responsibility would fall to them (again she's delusional as she's not in my life anymore). ADMIN MOD. ” And talking about baby #2. I didn’t share it unless asked directly for it. I know I’m young but having been in a stable relationship for so long it feels right. I have always known I wanted to be a mother and it has grown to such a burning desire. Consistency seems to be what young kids want, in my experience. I want it so bad sometimes I get really depressed. I want to be there for the whole process. Oh, and of course I'm posting in an antinatalist sub because I don't think it's right to have bio kids. They have a bit of a higher cost of entry, but they're ludicrously easy to take care of, and are extremely friendly and intelligent. should i start by saying i need to tell you something and we don’t need to talk about it now bc i want to give you time to process I've known for a long time that I want children. A child is more than a source of pride, it is your life after death. I spent 9 months perfecting being pregnant but didn't spend hardly any time being realistic about what having a newborn would be like. As someone who had their child at 18, just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons not because you just want a baby or want to be pregnant. give me a tiny baby, people! give me your baby!!! Posted by u/VandWW - 297 votes and 72 comments Hi there. Being a parent (a good one at least) is to live a completely SELFLESS life. He's a cool guy. It’s a lot of hard work that can absolutely break you. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. Side effects of Depo-Provera in men include loss of libido, impotence and chemical castration, obviously ruling it out as a way to have sex without pregnancy. " And, I'm starting to become pretty depressed because of it. Wasn't a huge fan of young kids. i stayed at their house for a week so that they could literally just live life for a little bit, and then i realized i had no clue how hard it was (especially being teens and already living on their own with a kid - all while the mom is still going to school and holding a part time job) Being a Dad is the easiest job in the world, Being a husband to the kid's mother gets harder as time goes on. We have tons of family support. I want to give my kids the kind of family life that I was denied, partially so that I can prove to myself that it can be done, but also to see my child grow up to do better than me. And I want it with a loving partner. Really. Once you have kids, it becomes really hard to travel. It's the third year that my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I told her I want a baby. My husband really wanted a baby and I thought it was I was more okay with a baby shower than a bridal shower because I really don't have a thing for a baby, and will gladly welcome as many packs of diapers, onesies, etc. i want to bring it up to my husband but i’m scared tbh. I still didn't really want much to do with other people's kids, but I It shouldn't, but 4 kids is a lot, especially if you have a toddler who has a developmental disorder who's going to need more attention. Id prefer to stop after two, but I’d feel like I was missing out if I only ever had boys or girls that I might consider a third just to try for the opposite sex. Totally don't need to have a shower if you don't want one. A diaper cream (we like Boudreaux's Butt Paste). Every single day, I look at the child that came from all that fucking awful and I marvel at her. I know you’ve only been together a few months but there’s nothing wrong with discussing the topic of kids and vague timelines early on to ensure compatibility if you haven’t already. And you need to be honest with her in order for her to make that decision. It's in the books yes but if you started on the first novel instead of the short stories, there's a good chance you may have missed these details. First make sure you really want to have a child with him. Once I stopped the pill, I became extremely anxious and terrified to have a baby. Washable items: clothing (various sizes), burp rags, spit up catching bibs, maybe a blanket or two. 302K subscribers in the askwomenadvice community. Unfortunately I haven't met anyone to do that with yet. feelingphyllis. Around 9mo to 4yo, trousers are needed, many trousers (especially if it's a boy). I made a throwaway account, mainly because I didn't want anyone to know about this part of my life yet - and a lot of my friends use reddit, and they… I want a baby Social i'm not having a kid myself, obviously, but i really, really want a baby. I'm almost 30 and had always thought 30 was a pretty good age for myself to start a family. Now, my life would be miserable without them. In my religion children are considered a blessing from God, and I can definitely see why. Babies have their own agendas. Crypto MembersOnline. I have always been socially awkward and im very introverted although im tall, athletic, good career and packing a good size down below. My entire family asks about a baby every time they speak to me. My baby is 23 days old and I regret him, it’s not a new feeling, while I was pregnant I was already unsure but it was too late anyway. We had them removed whey they were two, and the sleep switch was Salty-popcorn-1218. I'm SIXTEEN, working and in highschool, I would have no time or energy or space for a baby but I suddenly just have the urge to be pregnant and have a baby. (we also relied heavily on swaddles, but not everyone uses those. We welcome anyone seeking advice of a… Everyone is like “You’ll want more kids. We are in the process of buying a house. That's alright, but it means you have to be brave enough to let her leave if she really, really wants that baby. I have a friend who's in her early 40s. Business, Economics, and Finance. I would prefer to do it the way that most people do it, where you meet a partner, settle down with them and then get pregnant the usual way. They're so excited for the idea. Hi! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now and I'm very happy with him. everybody told me that newborns are easy because they eat, sleep, and poop. Like everything puts me in a bad mood, I start to resent my husband. Safer for the lizard, healthier scale baby, more domesticated. When I met my husband I was 28 and he was 24, I knew I was ready for a baby in a few years and that was my goal so I really didn I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but I am frustrated. Like a sitz bath solution (to heal after birth), some anti-cold oils (ask the pharmacist for the one which can be used for the youngest babies), nail scissors, toothbrush (will be used soon enough). There IS plenty of time. I don't think you should expect people to go on Amazon and then send you gifts necessarily then (I'm sure your close friends will still get you something though!). A couple of things that have made it work for us: 1. I'm married and my husband feels the same way. It really changes the outlook of a young man's life. Wanting a baby is the worst ride I've ever been on. Middle-One-4516. Mostly because I did not want to raise a girl. Shell find a way to get a baby, move on without her. I read most of the books. I don't want to pressure him, but I also can't ignore my biological clock. If you are sure, then have a talk to your husband. For me, once I had my own child, I found that I felt very different about my own baby. Most people prefer to wait until at least two months when babies can start getting their vaccinations but there is no time limit on “when” it’s ok to kiss babies. As any womanly figure desires, it’s to elevate to build a better life for you and your newly expected baby. i thought this too until my friends had a baby. I’ve got a good career, getting stable financially, survived a divorce, and I’m on a good track. Award. For me, I want to experience what life is like with a son AND a daughter. It's all I really want to be as an adult. There, I said it. And prioritize them: must-have, nice-to-have, etc. I'm very well educated on all things pregnancy, baby, and post-pardum. •. Hey, so I'm a 20 year old woman and I've never had such a bad urge to have a baby. I would consider speaking to someone professionally because your life is now completely different plus you have a dependant baby that requires 100% of your energy while you still heal physically. However, I have such strong baby fever that it breaks my heart. Totally normal. Family and dear friends who you know to trust, will stay by your side to help and support. promptolovebot. Otherwise you probably will have to decide a really big decision onward, I wish you luck and happiness. Begin with deciding to take a designated break (one to three months) from any discussion about the topic with your partner. I went off the pill 3 years ago, thinking I wanted a baby. Because that’s exactly what you’re doing when you make a baby. Watch our children be born. Multiple pregnancies. I want to have a baby. But deep down I worry about connecting with a boy and feel like my personal preference is to have a girl. Worse than the effects on women. Real light weight, easy, and not bulky. ADMIN. I don’t mean that as a slight to anyone disabled. But. NSFW subreddit for reproductive related pornography and discussion. I'm dating this guy and I really want a kid. Thanks in advance fellow nerds (: I love names and constantly make lists, ever since I was very very young, and there in lies the problem: no name sounds Realistically, I can barely afford to feed myself let alone a baby (I'm 19 FFS!), not mention that I'm trans, and I doubt I would be able to handle the changes that pregnancy would bring to my body. The newborn stage was hard and I’m practically a single mom right now while my spouse is away doing army stuff. i have no idea how to even start the conversation. Vent. Baby is 1 y old , he never ever slept for more than 2 hs straight , the lack of sleep and constant exhaustion killed my marriage. Wanting a baby you can’t afford. Im a man who is 25 years of age and has never had a girlfriend or had sex. THIS is an “innocent” form of racism. I just really want a baby, and I don't know why. I'm feeling a little depressed because I have a dilemma. There are a few things I wish people or other mommas would have told me before so I could prepare myself. More recently the family part. I had really bad baby fever and it can be really tough to wait! I feel a little bit like an older you. I thought I’d hate it for some reason but it was great and I had my book club read it and they all really got a lot out of it too. Desperately want a baby but can't afford to. Being a Dad is being honest, with the kid first and foremost, but also with yourself. Wanting a baby with light brown skin because they are cute, not because you so happened to be fostering a mixed child is so so so harmful. amystarr. I'm sure I'm going to get tons of back lash for this. It's a life long commitment. She asks an interesting question: "Do I Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - No votes and 4 comments Posted by u/Glitterybubbles - 1 vote and 2 comments baby is NOT covered until age 26, and even with insurance average cost to have a kid for delivery is about $6000. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home A shocking number of men who want children are useless fathers. I really want a baby. I am a 29F, married for 3 years to 25M husband. 906K subscribers in the Breeding community. Already. We both REALLY want a baby. It's all I want so bad. Reply. If you can see that she loves kids and cares for them well, it's an instant turn on and immediately makes you think "mother material". We are both living together (with our families) and looking for our own housing for us, my dog and potential baby. Take a hard look through the online resources around financials of having kids and take an informed call. If you get a Northern, you'll know it's captive born and bred, and not wild caught. I'm approaching 50, still haven't hit menopause so in THEORY, could still sprog, and baby-horny (shudder) has never afflicted me. Wait until you're married and you're both ready. If it's a no from you, it's a no. that I can get! (We're doing a gender-neutral shower, as we didn't find out the sex, so I'm hoping this helps my worry which, like yours, is that we end up getting lots of shit Like really really fucking bad. And maybe partially to spite all the people telling me how much I would love raising a little girl and dressing her up and all that BS. She should respect your wishes , 19 is way too young to be having a child and her pressuring you into something you don’t want is controlling . This is post 1/2 and focuses on the OP and ideology being presented, as well as my take. Or people that complain about being pregnant. I was 25 when I had my first and we got together when I was 22. of_skies_and_seas. One month isn’t enough time. But it’s totally up to you! 25 is still a great age for fertility, and your energy will be higher. Racism is everywhere, there may be places known for being specifically bad, but in the world we live in it’s not avoidable. I was actually pretty bummed at first, but it definitely faded. I’ve wanted kids since my early early 20s, and I feel like I’ve been waiting In mothers who continued their pregnancy to 41 weeks, there was a 64% increase in the risk of stillbirth compared to those who delivered at 40 weeks, with 1 additional mother having a stillborn baby for every 1,449 women. The conclusion of this education is "hell no, my body will never make babies"… Advertisement My feelings exactly. I don’t really want to bring anyone down on this fabulous Fathers Day…but there’s a wee lil baby out there somewhere with a bit of a chilly footsie… If this is your chubby ones soft appendage warmer , I hope your prayers are answered and this makes it back to you after its tenuous journey. The two things I've made it a point to do with my young kids everyday are reading with them, and listening to/performing music. • 1 yr. MIDDLE NAME CONTENDERS: Elliot, Rose, Fae, Opal. I wanna make multiple babies with someone. I want to hear your experiences of realising when you knew you were ready for a baby or did you just jump in feet first and go for it? Can you ever be ready? Just don't really know what to think of it right now as it's never been in my future plans to have a baby. I really, really want to become a mom. I am a millenial (25years old), and I know a lot of people, but i'm only real close too only a few. A little back story: 2013: My husband and I tried to have a baby for 2 years. true. hi this is going to sound weird okay reaaally weird but am a 12 year old boy and i want a baby yah i know it might sound like a joke but i want a… I have two main topics to discuss on this, but they are sufficiently different I felt they deserved separate posts. But throughout my life, i've had a lot friends who don't have fathers in their lives, and Spending the whole day crying every year when it rolls round and all you can think about is what the first baby would have looked like and how they'd be growing, what they'd be doing, etc if they'd survived. I love my job much more that staying home with my son, but as soon as it’s over I have to rush home to let the babysitter go home. In no way should you have a baby. You need to be honest with your boyfriend. my husband and i have always agreed we weren’t really ready for kids. also as a self employed person you need about $50K saved before having a baby as nobody else will hire you near that money and you wo'nt have large company protections if something happens'. YES! As a post menopausal female, I can't believe how different life is sans baby making hormones. But now that I'm nearing that age I realize that there is no way I can afford it. She talks a lot about the life choices she made that allowed her to succeed in her career and life. Really normal to have a strong urge to have children. Childbirth was also terrible, but not as bad, because it was done in two days instead of taking 40 weeks. we had a ton of savings as I had been working for a couple of years after I have really irregular cycles and finally went to the OBGyn and she suggested me trying a combined birth control pill to see if I can gain my cycles… Definitely not a necessity. Yes, she wants a baby in the books. I can’t have another baby for the sake of my mental health and everything else. 2. You don’t have much money but you’re getting by and you’re happy. You’re in your twenties, the world is your oyster, and you are loving life. This is a subreddit dedicated to asking women for advice. You don't need them all checked off (not sure it's entirely possible anyway because something else will always come up), but having a decent chunk of it Apr 26, 2021 ยท 1. Not only because of the outside world but because I personally don't really like little girls and don't want to raise a teen girl lol. I only preferred a boy because in my culture there’s a lot of pressure to have a boy, and for that reason I was relieved we are having one and “getting it out of the way. Desperately wants a child and is going through IVF with a sperm donor next year. If you don’t want this pregnancy, get an abortion. I’ve challenged baby gushers in person by replacing “baby,” “child,” or “kid (s)” with “people Having a baby completely turns your world inside out however you have had a particularly traumatic experience. We each have a plan involving further education that we want to get through before we have a family. At 19 you should set up a good base for a comfortable life. I am suffering with PPD right now and the looming failure of breast feeding. We both have been talking about starting a family, getting married, settling down all of that. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with. They’re going to be all sharing the same germs anyway. Well yes, the side effects of putting estrogen into male bodies is undesirable. First Name Contenders: Luella, Eliza, Kaia, Rowen, Rose, Rosemary, Elliot, Clare, Finley (Dads fave, I'm meh about it), Alexandra, Mariah. ago. I'm 38 and felt like my time to have a baby was running out. If he decides that he wants to have a baby with you, then congratulations, you've met all the requirements for having a baby. ) Travel items: car seat, stroller, baby carrier, whatever fits your lifestyle and living environment. However. If you want some good reading in the meantime, I really enjoyed Lean In. . I still wish I was having a girl but we’re likely a one-and-done family, so I’ve embraced it a lot better the last couple of weeks. To me wanting to have children is something as instinctual as wanting to have a husband, friends, etc. Not that they were strong enough to make me want to spit out a kid, lol. When a girl is playing with a kid, it's an instant way to see her motherly instincts and is a huge turn on. There's no "one day," she just has to decide if she's having a baby without or without you. I just want to, be a dad. What really shocked me on this sub is the amount of people who want multiples of one gender only. I guess I’m scared to admit it to my averagecow. I don't think there is anything wrong with that at long as you recognize and accept that you still need to be a good parent to a baby if you have one. You’re capable of so much and more often than not, that doesn’t include the baby’s father. I feel I am at a stage in my life where I really don't want to wait much longer. I have no interest in a partner or having relations. You definitely don’t need a shower to have a registry and be given gifts! 7. Anyway, TL;DR, you can if you want, but if it does not work, don't beat yourself up. But I understand he has two kids already and heavy responsibility with all of that, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I want a child pretty soon because of my age. Recently over christmas I expressed that I want a baby at 30 and my mother flat out said NO. I've felt a call to be a father for many years. Had a baby at 20, 26, and this one will be at 28. Furthermore, I said I feel embarrassed to admit it but I’m not sure that’s even the right word. If you want a baby, tell him that. We’re young but I want a kid soon so I’ll be able-bodied enough and still full of energy to play with my kid. You meet the guy that might be THE ONE and spend a few years together just being young and in love. ”. Being a mum is something I've wanted as long as I can remember… You need to wait until your ready and if she continues with this you should probably leave her this is huge red flags. Or, get clothes, but bigger ones. I hate people that are pregnant, announcing they are pregnant, or just had a baby. The OP expresses concern that she is afraid of having another child because that child may be a boy. I’m gonna get hate for this but I can’t say it out loud so I’m posting here. I miss heading to the gym to relieve the stress from work. You have a tiny two bedroom apartment and slowly decorate it The more I love myself, the more I want my genes to be passed on. He has a wonderful family and I've built a great relationship with them. Also, it's generally suggested that you try to do adoption in birth order so that for at least a while the adopted child is the baby of the family. I would feel incomplete, like something very important is obviously missing, if I didn't have children. Hope you guys have plenty of free time and many thousands of extra dollars, you're going to need it. All you have to do to be a good father, is be honest. Okay, so this is part rant and part I really hope someone has some helpful advice. Parenting is worth it and wonderful only if you want the child. What the fuck is going on? I've always thought that I don't want kids ever up until now. I suggest not to blatantly tell it, but little by little. Parents can kiss their baby. like, there are no babies next to me right now. She steals my makeup and nail polish, her dolls are everywhere; she’s exactly the girl I dreamed she would be - but my boys: I didn’t want to be a boy mom until I had my first. I don’t want anyone to misunderstand: I’m happy for those that have kids. I want a baby more than anything just not with my husband. You can always do something super casual too. Single. I’ve got a standard chico with a stroller caddy that it pops right into. She is a wonderful, baffling mixture of joy, light, snark, and insanity. Has elderly parents who haven't expressed much interest in her plans and she will have minimal support around her. Take time to make sure you really want it. I’m not having one. She said "No, we're not financially stable yet. I don’t want to celebrate being an incubator, I’d rather everyone just celebrate the baby when he gets here. We both have well-paying, stable jobs. wl kz wo pq tm sq rz st if qq